Alex’s view on men, bears, and wolves
Sexual orientation is still something which provokes reactions that can only be described as ignorant, uninformed, and closed-minded among so many people, including people I know and hold dear. Hatred or at least intolerance of those who are attracted to members of the same sex — a reaction commonly and clumsily referred to as homophobia — remains a form of bigotry which too many people are still comfortable expressing and even acting on. Furthermore, it is a hatred that has, at least since the rise of monotheism, infected our laws, customs, and very assumptions about what constitutes correct and normative behavior. Finally, this hatred is easily internalized from an early age, informing as it does the manner in which each of us is raised from an early age by our parents, assuming those parents themselves conform to the heterosexist norms of society.
But this portion of my site isn’t necessarily about cultural or legal attitudes concerning sexuality, nor about the how those attitudes came to be. Rather, it is much more personal and reflects my gradual acceptance of my own sexuality, a sexuality that despite the progress seen in my lifetime, is still viewed as outside the norm. As elsewhere on this site, I refer back to Apollo. He was, after all, one of the gods evincing the greatest sexual variety. Witness his despair over the death of his male lover Hyacinthus in the detail of the Tiepolo work above. Then there is the aspect of Apollo associated with wolves, animals which have a good deal of meaning for me, particularly as a gay man. After all, in the bear culture, “wolves” are sometimes a referent for men who, while not “bears” themselves (large, hirsute, etc.), enjoy the company of bears. I certainly do, my partner being a bear and so many of the men I find attractive being bears as well. So perhaps not a bear myself — although I do sport a beard — I like to run with the bears.
I don’t expect any man outside the gay community to understand the links I attempt to make across so many symbols and mythical elements. In fact, most gay men might not either. But one of the joys of being gay and having an appreciation of history, myth and symbols is that of rediscovering the many ways in which we see our sexuality and sense of self reflected in various intersections of nature, art and belief.
I’ll develop this section of my site further as time permits but for now will simply include a short list of sites relevant to my own interests as a gay man with particular emphasis on the bear culture.
Απολλϖν λυκιος
“Apollo of the wolves”
